By Bettina Tornatorra – Reprinted from UCA 33 Principles
Have you had the feeling of: How did I get to this place in my life?
Have you ever looked around at your life and wondered When did that change?
When you examine your life, are you the ruler of your destiny? Are YOU the centre of your universe? Are you the main event or have you learnt to take a back seat to your own existence?
Often I hear people both in my practice and during coaching say, that they don’t feel they have time or energy left for themselves after they have taken care of the needs of all those around them. They say that their lives are full of busyness and not a lot of peace and order. And they feel that they have never been more active and yet never achieved less in a day. It would appear that this is becoming a modern day epidemic of our times.
Women in particular seem afflicted by this issue. The needs of their families and children appear never ending. Because they are also in a caring profession such as Chiropractic the list of those who ‘need’ them is vast and unending.
This often leads people say that they are seeking Work Life Balance. To create space in their worlds to breathe and just BE. The concept of balance is an interesting one. The reality is that balance is an idea that suggests that all things are in a state of equilibrium. The image of a set of scales is often used. This is a common image, however the concept of life existing in this state of balance is a myth.
Nothing in our minds or bodies exists in a perfect balance. We are an adapting and self regulating organism that responds to our environment. This concept that we can achieve a static balance point is not supported in reality. We observe this this adaptation and change in all the chemical reactions in the body. In the respond and react mechanisms that maintain homeostasis. The differential in pressure in our blood vessels that creates the movement in our circulatory system. The methods of excitement and inhibition in our nervous system in constant process to adapt to our worlds. So from a fundamental point of view we are anything but static.
A better way to consider this, and set ourselves up to succeed, is by saying we are looking for HARMONY. What is the difference?
Harmony implies that there is change happening. Beautiful music is created by harmony. The pauses, the timing of the various instruments all working together to create the sounds we hear. So too our lives. All the parts are working but not all at the same time. If every instrument in the orchestra played together with no plan, it would be just noise. But when planned and timed correctly, with each taking their turn to be prominent. A thing of beauty is then produced.
So how is this harmony achieved?
Firstly like the body adapting to the environment we place it in, this is a constant ongoing calibration. We need to be active in the process. Setting aside time to plan and assess where we are and what we are doing is a strategy that will set us up to succeed.
Identify all the areas in your life that you move through. For example your family, practice, parents, siblings, career, relationship, exercise, vitality education etc. Look at each area and assess exactly where you are at in each one. This may be a sobering experience as you discover the areas of your life that you have completely neglected or ignored. This uncomfortable feeling is to be welcomed as it the beginning of awareness and from awareness comes change potential.
The next step is to look at what your ideal looks like. What would your life look like and be like if you had your ideal. Make this into a picture in your mind and then write it down in a narrative. As for when affirmations are done, write this narrative in the present tense. You may realise when you do this that are many goals that you desire embedded in to this picture. This gives you a great blueprint for your goal setting and your setting of outcomes.
The most important part of this process is to look at YOU. If you were to have the ideal life picture you have outlined, who do you need to become? What kind of parent, sibling, Chiropractor, team member, principal, partner, do you need to be to have this life? And do you nurture yourself first to enable you to bring the energy you need to this picture? Where is the self care in your week? Do you set aside even a small amount of time each day to take care of you? If you are realising that you are not doing this begin with 15 minutes of meditation or journalling to get things started. Be kind to yourself in this time. Get into a routine and allow yourself to relax and see your ideal life.
So starting today, take care of the most important person in your world and the person that the whole picture of your life relies on, YOU.